Sunday, November 1, 2015

Goodbye October.

Goodbye October...we're back. Zimbabwe. Zambia. Then right back in my bed. Did it even happen? Sometimes jet lag is the only evidence that this whole thing wasn't a dream. That and the dirt encrusted feet that would make a pedicurist cry.

I apologize for the lack of updates other than on Facebook but the power situation is incredibly difficult in both Zambia and Zimbabwe these days. If we had power, we had no wi-fi. And to be honest, I'm not one to search for it because I don't want to be distracted from what is around me.

So, we're home. Easton is ten pounds lighter and weighing in at an incredible 100 lbs of just skin and bones. I told him he could go out as a skeleton last night, no costume needed. He was incredible. Not just because he was amazing in the communities or with the 47 degree heat or the nights in hospital hooked up to IV....he just was so inspiring to watch. 14 and he's teaching me so much. This kid is in between retching up bile and clenched in pain and he looks at me and says, "It's not about me..."
And I can't even explain how brave he was despite the sketchy situations we found ourselves making decisions about. The boy grew up this trip and in it, he helped me grow too.

I have grey hairs...not the sporadic, once in a blue moon kind I've noticed creeping up over the past year or so. These are not the grey hairs you pull in a moment of vanity when at you glimpse them glimmering in the rear view mirror at a stop light. These were earned. They're staying.

My head is swimming. My heart is raw. I'm weepy and I'm so bloody content. I was stretched by the people I met and by those I call family in Zimbabwe and in Zambia. I know how loved I am. I know how loved my son is. That is a gift.  I'm frustrated at how short our time with those we love is and I'm incredibly thankful to have each of those minutes.

Beautiful.
Broken.
Devastatingly poor.
Incredibly optimistic.
Hopeful in despair.
Patient in affliction.
Calm in the chaos.

It's all rattling around in my head, it wafts from the suitcase, it enters the home where there are no ants in the water and no need for malaria pills and mosquito nets. It's there in the chill in the air and it's in the warmth of the shower. Every simplicity amplifies how difficult this one was and yet it may be the best trip yet.

When the words come, I'll put them here. Until then...

No comments: