Monday, September 26, 2016

Ban the Silence

I don't always come with something to write about but this weekend, I visited the Museum of Human Rights in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I'm telling you, it's worth the trip. The building itself is an architectural wonder, with meandering ramps, soft lighting, bare polished cement and open resonant spaces from top to bottom. It's incredibly beautiful and restful and yet sufficiently reverent and open to allow you to move from exhibit to exhibit with time for reflection in between.

I was in Winnipeg for one of our Carlie's wedding. Carleigh Wegner and her counterpart, Carly Honeybunn, were part of our intake team in Africa in 2012. They and our fellow Saskatonian, Mel, were subjected to not only the culture shock and work of spending three months in Africa, they had to share it with our family, who were trying to figure it all out with two boys in tow. These girls were big sisters to our boys, little sisters to us and wise teachers all at the same time. I can't express how much respect I have for these young women who were brave and went to Africa, seeking to learn and contribute, to love and to encourage. They are some of the most compassionate women I have ever spent time with.  I stayed at Carly H's home (which she shares with her stellar husband, Kyle). Our dear Kristal Hoff and her little Francie joined us and it was basically an amazing extended slumber party, with a wedding and fireworks and good food thrown in for good measure. 

After the beautiful wedding of Carleigh to her Will, Kristal and I left with Francie and headed back to the apartment for a good nights sleep. I tell you, waking up to a baby just cooing in the room is something I don't think I ever experienced with our boys. They just weren't the wake up smiling and cooing kinda kids. Probably because they only ever slept for an hour at a time and were perpetually sleep deprived, as were we, their parents. 

On Saturday morning, I had made arrangements with (ahem, bribed) my eldest nephew, Mitch. I figured I could get a good half hour or forty five minute visit in even if it meant taking him to Costco and buying him meat. He's such a good kid (well, man...but kid to me....) and he showed up with a list that included eggs, bread and salsa. I did NOT fight Saturday morning parking at Costco for that measly list so I got him rolling and left satisfied that he'll not waste away till his mom gets back from overseas.  As we were finishing up, Kristal and Carly texted where we were going to meet up, so I sent Mitch on his way with a hug in public and said all the mushy aunt things I needed to say, and then I drove away, with maybe a small speck in my eye causing a few tears.

Kristal, Kyle, Carly and I met up and had lunch with Francie as entertainment and then we decided to head over to the Museum for Human Rights. I was hmm'ing and haw'ing about going because I didn't want to rush but I also knew I had a long drive home ahead of me. In the end, I couldn't pass up the chance to see it with people that feel things as deeply as I do or even more so, in regards to social justice.  I was not disappointed. It was interesting as we wandered through the exhibits of which were the issues that spoke more pointedly to each of us as individuals, and also those that struck as collectively. I can't begin to tell you the impact the exhibit of the residential schools and the red dress exhibit of missing and murdered indigenous women had on me. The stories are haunting me still and I can't seem to get my head or heart around the fact that this is happening in the country I feel so privileged to live in.  My desire to learn more and speak up more for the cultural genocide and abuses that our First Nations have been subjected to and erased from is overwhelming right now. I'm moved to tears thinking that I've been naive enough to believe the media and the downplaying of the atrocities inflicted on our indigenous populations in Canada.   Seeing the exhibit of the Holocaust and the artifacts again brought home the idea that we are not so evolved that we can say, "Never again" because we are allowing these things to happen worldwide and turning away. Standing facing the school uniform of Malala and seeing how little she was when she was shot for speaking up for her right to get an education humbled me as well. An 11 year old girl shot for being a threat to some of the most ruthless terrorists in our recent history. Until you see the blood stained fabric of a child's school uniform, it doesn't hit home that she speaks for all children and particularly girls' rights to education. Incredible. 

Despite the horrors of what man does to man....I left the museum feeling somewhat encouraged. That if we continue to tell the stories and show the evidence of our histories, hopefully we can learn from those. I was also amazed at the resilience of survivors...of genocides, of residential school abuses, of unimaginable losses and witnessed horrors. If they can stand against it, how can I not? 

I continue to reflect on the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that I read on my way out of the museum. 

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people."


We can't be silent. It is siding with the oppressors to remain so. I challenge you again as I do myself. Pick an issue. Refugees. Migrants. Displaced persons. Wars. Genocides. Terrorist plots. Government corruption. Pick a country. Zimbabwe. Congo. Venezuela. Syria. Ukraine. Sudan. Nigeria. Cambodia. Myanmar. America. Canada. Learn the history. Speak up against injustice. Fight the terror with courage.  Use your voice. Use your influence. Use this one brief and beautiful life to make someone else's easier.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

That's My Boy. Fall 2016 version.



So, aside from having a high school senior this year in the house, I have had to contend with the fact that this man child has a whole side to him I don't even know about. I can hear your eyes rolling in your heads, friends, but it's been a reality check to this Mom this week.  He's towering over me and he's eating like a man. He's been training hard for football and making sure his work schedule doesn't conflict with his games and practices. I thought until this week that all his practices were actual football practices but I found out that at the pep rally on Thursday, Aidan had to dance in front of the school to Beyonce's "All The Single Ladies." (Apparently there had been some dance practices thrown in the schedule.) Had to? Chose to? Either way, he did it and I can't even imagine.

Aidan is a captain on his football team this year (yes, I'm just throwing that casually in to enhance the story) and he's really stepped into the role of motivating and leading his team. One of the responsibilities of each of the players on the team is to sell some discount cards in the community to fundraise for the program. It's never too hard, there are always football fans willing to pour back into their schools, coworkers and neighbours who will fork out a $20 bill in return for a $20 bill when their kid comes around selling chocolates.  This year, the captains on the football team are a lively bunch of guys, pretty goofy and more than a little mischievous. They banded together on the first afternoon and knowing that rookies and second years will always leave the guaranteed sales to the last, (ahem...moms and grandmas....), these four decided to hit up the homes of their fellow players first. So, yes, while the young guns were out cold calling the neighbourhood selling their share of the cards, the captains were spinning tales of "Oh no, m'am...only the captains have to sell them for the team this year" to their mothers. They spent a good hour and a half hitting up the homes of their fellow players and sold cards to all of them, often pulling out of the driveway just in time to see their teammate come home after hitting the pavement themselves.

I'm not sure about the other captains but Aidan and his buddy, Adam, came home to our house pretty smug and senselessly giggling about their escapades while scarfing down some pulled pork sandwiches and heading back out. I decided to take a walk with Charlie and was still sort of shaking my head at the whole thing when I hear our neighbour's door close. Around the corner of the house comes one of the guys on the football team who is dating their beautiful daughter, Gabby.  I keep walking with Charlie, thinking he doesn't know me...when I hear him ask, "Are you Aidan's mom?" I stop in the middle of the street and just apologize. "Yes, yes I am. And I'm so sorry. I heard he sold your parents cards before you could get home." Then this kid, who I only know as "Butters" laughs and says, "Yea, he even sold one to Tim (Gaby's dad) before I got here!"

It's a new low people. I'm going to blame genetics. And make it clear that that did not come from my side of the family.

Tim, I'm sorry that you had to buy TWO cards...one from my kid and one from the kid you SHOULD have only had to buy from.

Wendy, I'm sorry that Aidan snowed you with the line that only the captains were selling tickets this year. I raised him better than that.

To all the other victims out there....you have my deepest apology. And the shared hope that your kid will get his turn to be a senior on the team and take down his teammates in the similar fashion next year. And if any of you have a video of Aidan dancing to Beyonce, I will happily post it here as retribution for your loss.


Update: September 27th....really guys, this is out on the football site and NO ONE is coming forward with a video of the Beyonce spectacle? C'mon.



Sunday, September 11, 2016

A Moment of Silence

I sat with this for a few minutes this morning. And it felt small. Like it wasn't enough to fully remember the day. Those hours. That pain. The few minutes felt like it was petty. But those minutes were sacred. And I don't think any sacred moment spent is ever small.

Never Forget  **

I hope you can find a few minutes today. Or this week. And spend it on something sacred. The past. The future. The present. Whatever needs to be tended to.




**I'm not sure how long the link will take you directly to this video but you can search it on this website. I don't know anything about the site that posted this video so please know, that I am only suggesting this as one way to remember this event. It's beautifully done.