Tuesday, February 6, 2018

The Writing

Words are important. I've always felt that but this past week, with the help of some friends from the past...I picked up the phone and had an hour long conversation with two really incredible people that I had lost track of many years ago. A few years ago, on this day...on this blog...I wrote out some memories of an incident that impacted me deeply and still does. I write for my own well being. I write to free the words from my mind and I write to quiet the thoughts that continue to plague me until I find an outlet for them. I often write oblivious to where the words will go or who will read them or how they will feel reading them. I know at times my words have helped others articulate their own feelings or emotions. At other times, I know my words have caused discussion, arguments, even division. I am responsible for what I put out there...whether written or spoken.

Last week, the words I wrote a few years ago here brought me back together with a family I have long admired and loved. A couple who experienced the unimaginable loss of a son and embraced his friends and allowed us access to their pain and their memories and their love.  So I caught up with them on the phone and as soon as I heard their voices, I was right back in their living room, reminiscing and hearing the stories of life in between the days when I really was in their living room and the conversation we were having on the phone.

I don't have any profound words tonight. Most days I'm alone and the words I have to speak stay unspoken, but they get written in the middle of the night in a notebook by the bed, or on the back of an envelope in my bag. They don't get sent out into the world though they do often go to the inbox or cell phone of some of the best women in the world.

This week the privilege of being able to write freely isn't lost on me. I don't take for granted either that I have those I can trust with my words and my thoughts in these days - even if they can't be published.  I just wanted to say I'm still here. I still have words and I'm still writing. I just know that there are things that need to be written and things that need to be published and they're not always the same thing.